is there a point in your life when you stop having any kind of real thoughts and your mind just spins on to-do lists? cause it’s boring me to tears. i can even see all the check boxes next to the list, which goes on seemingly forever, and none of them are checked.

strangely, at the same time, i feel like i don’t really have that much to do. not really. nothing earth shattering. but my brain has been reprogrammed into a list churner that makes me feel like i have a million things to do. or keep done.

i think i want my old brain back. it was much better at thinking about less boring things. or at least things i didn’t have to check off (chik-chik) when i was done thinking about them. kids fed and kept alive (chik-chik), husband somewhere in the house (chik-chik), getting sleepy (chik-chik), prepared to dream (chik-chik) — ack! preparing to dream has got to be saddest part yet…

loving:

• zipping him up and tucking him in this winter bed, my baby
• reading him to sleep, my first baby, his new, already-t00-short jam pants halfway up his calves
• a poem: “new year’s day” by kim addonizio
• ohhh, jo handbags (via ss)