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leo is going through bit of an “emotional pistol” period. not listening. running away. waking up mad. going to bed mad. hitting, kicking, biting, spitting. basically stomping around a good deal of the time mad at all of us and at the world.

oh, leo.

i need someone to remind me that this is just a stage and not who he will be and what he (and we) will face forever. cause that’s what it feels like. i mean, i know some of it is innate personality stuff; however, i hope it won’t be like this always. i just want him to be happy. for more than five minutes.

it’s the almost-three thing, where they’re trying to make their claim on their own life. they hate being told what to do. they want to make their own plans. and sadly, it seems, we don’t have a lot of extra time to let him make his own plans. his own life.

almost-three sucks. for him and us. i’ve got to find space for him to make some life of his own.

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i can feel the changes coming. not the seasons. i know there’s lots more hot to come.

but it’s the boys. they are growing and changing so fast. seems faster than ever. i see a little more of who they’re becoming. it is exhilarating. the days of merely propping them up or bouncing them, feeding them, and keeping them dry are over, and a new kind of work begins.

it’s the guiding. the being present. the modeling. the sitting still. the letting be. all those hard things. can i do this right? and well?

…when it feels i am still learning, growing, and changing at light speed myself?

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