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there are so many things that cross my mind in the last hours of each night. mostly worry (but good worry), a lot of gratitude, some longing, always some longing, and the letting in the tired…

i try to get it through my thick skull that along with the good (weather) comes the not great (early darkness). i try to believe the universe has its reasons, even if i don’t understand them. when the heat finally (good god finally!) departs, i am filled with energy, and the shorter autumn evenings mean our nightly walks fall away. i love our nightly walks. i always miss them. sometimes we take them anyway. but mostly darkness rules and we cozy up inside. the kids seem to respond well to the darkness, falling tired after a short bit of reading. my mind and body restless. not matching up with the universe’s plan.

but i’m trying to match up. trying to take walks during the day. trying to enjoy the solitude of those bright and sunny walks even though i miss the squawky chaotic walks with my boys at nightfall.

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