the beat

*

this morning, i was looking out my back windows. the morning was golden beautiful and bright. and then i looked down, and i could actually see the subtle vibration of my heart beating softly in my chest. at first i thought i might want to cut down on the decaf too. or that it meant i was probably about to die.

and then i realized something else…it means i am alive. good god, i am simply alive. and it is so nice.

other things that make me feel alive:

  • a new toothbrush
  • watching dancers
  • walking through the dark house and hearing my boys talk in their sleep
  • looking out into the black night and seeing a plane twinkling across the sky
  • having plans
  • my summer soundtrack
  • watching birds

have a happy weekend.

*

*

growth

*

IMG_7373

i can feel the changes coming. not the seasons. i know there’s lots more hot to come.

but it’s the boys. they are growing and changing so fast. seems faster than ever. i see a little more of who they’re becoming. it is exhilarating. the days of merely propping them up or bouncing them, feeding them, and keeping them dry are over, and a new kind of work begins.

it’s the guiding. the being present. the modeling. the sitting still. the letting be. all those hard things. can i do this right? and well?

…when it feels i am still learning, growing, and changing at light speed myself?

*

*