it’s me again. i’m sitting here in the dark. again. hello.

i’m wondering. do you ever sometimes just completely forget who you are? even though you’ve known yourself, like, forever? even though you’ve trialed and tribulated on that personage for several decades?

for example, after finishing lunch with my mom today, i ordered a GIANT, iced black coffee and promptly sucked it down through a straw. me. the wimp who only drinks decaf coffee BECAUSE I CAN’T HANDLE COFFEE CAFFEINE. what was I thinking? i can’t drink coffee. especially not midday for chrissakes. how could i forget this? after making this mistake so many times before? after knowing myself jittering and bumping on coffee all too well?

looking back, i think it was simply because the server offered it up in such a tasty after-lunch way. he made it sound like dessert. and it made me forget. just like that. frickin’ crafty hypnotist waiters …

let’s just say my coworkers got A LOT of “great ideas” in their email boxes after that. sigh.

i don’t know what happened. i just forgot who i was for a minute. or i just wanted to be that girl who can suck down coffee and be like a normal person after that. as if.