no one is tired

Posted on by sheri

gulls out at the birdplace. funny, there are rarely gulls out there. but then again, just when i think i know something about that place, i get a big surprise. once there were cows out there. just grazing. and smelling like cows. another time a stray trio of eccentric chickens, probably abandoned, emerged from the grass.

here at home tonight, no one is tired. or at least willing to give into sleep. the four of us celebrated clyde’s 8th birthday at our favorite mexican place, probably the one place that pleases the four of us equally. they presented clyde with flan all lit up by a crackling sparkler and sang happy birthday in espanol. more celebrating with family and friends over the weekend.

still struggling a little with how and what to blog. i struggled for at least five minutes about whether or not to even tell you that.

a few sure things:

windowsill

Posted on by sheri

tonight when i got home from picking up the boys, leo stepped over into our neighbor’s yard and peeped up into their front window. “what is she watching on tv? oh, i see their christmas tree,” he said up on tiptoes, fingertips on the windowsill before i scolded him away.

“it’s not polite to look in other people’s windows,” i said.

since then, i’ve been thinking a lot about windows — from outside in or inside out — everything that they obscure and crop out but also everything they reveal and bring into focus. every day i sit at my computer in the very same place, at my very same desk, with the very same view from one small piece of the world to another. what is being cropped out? what is being revealed? what will i miss sitting there every day? what will i discover?

i could tell you the answers to these questions, but then we’re not talking about windows anymore, are we? and it’s no longer as simple a notion as i hoped it would be. or maybe it’s too simple, trite really. a discussion about the meaning of life made meaningless by words. and this is where i struggle lately with writing. if it’s not done well, it can really muck up a good moment. a moment better left unsaid.

if you looked in the window of my mind right now, you would see a woman crumpling up another piece of paper and tossing it in a pile with all the rest. but it’s not polite to look in other people’s windows.

prepare to dream

Posted on by sheri

is there a point in your life when you stop having any kind of real thoughts and your mind just spins on to-do lists? cause it’s boring me to tears. i can even see all the check boxes next to the list, which goes on seemingly forever, and none of them are checked.

strangely, at the same time, i feel like i don’t really have that much to do. not really. nothing earth shattering. but my brain has been reprogrammed into a list churner that makes me feel like i have a million things to do. or keep done.

i think i want my old brain back. it was much better at thinking about less boring things. or at least things i didn’t have to check off (chik-chik) when i was done thinking about them. kids fed and kept alive (chik-chik), husband somewhere in the house (chik-chik), getting sleepy (chik-chik), prepared to dream (chik-chik) — ack! preparing to dream has got to be saddest part yet…

loving:

  • zipping him up and tucking him in this winter bed, my baby
  • reading him to sleep, my first baby, his new, already-t00-short jam pants halfway up his calves
  • a poem: “new year’s day” by kim addonizio
  • ohhh, jo handbags (via ss)

flight

Posted on by sheri

great blue heron. it’s a wonder they can lift those giant wings into flight, isn’t it? i love how this came out like a painting.

and:

  • give or take a few pieces discarded by the boys on NYE, i ate an entire marion berry pie by myself over the weekend. each piece better than the last.
  • a much-needed read by anne lamott: Time lost and found
  • totally obsessing over the sarah jaffe suburban nature album but today particularly “before you go.” when i listen to this song with headphones, i feel like i am flying.

what about you? you been flying?

i’m still here

Posted on by sheri

love this little happy accident from the birdplace yesterday. so minimal and wide open. this is how i like to pretend i feel.

watched joaquin phoenix’s i’m still here last night and mostly found it disturbing. not sure which would have been more disturbing: wondering if it was real or knowing it was fake. if i was going to make up a new life for myself, even a crazy one, i would have made up a much richer one than that. uck.

check it:

  • look at my new URL — no more wordpress in there. just todayispretty.com.
  • don’t miss this joy+ride, issue #50, film photographs by rachel saldaña from her quiet winter home.
  • i’ll be sharing photos + words a few times a week on habit for the month of january. yippee!
  • love this L.A. loft. wish i had such a knack for (dis)organizing my collections.
  • i need to invest in a bike this year. and then this orchid bike bell.

back to work tomorrow. wish me luck!